A letter to God

Sculpture Garden, National Gallery of Art. Spring 2011

I was looking through my journals from last year for inspiration for tonight’s post. I found this poem draft written some time between February 6 and February 9, 2011. The doubt I express in the poem is still what I struggle with most in my relationship with God. I know he exists. I struggle, however, with the idea of his love as constant, consistent, as a no-matter-what kind of love. And so when we get too close, I break it off before he can be the one to break my heart.

Dear Jesus

Forgive me for keeping my heart

but I have suffered enough heart

break from those who were supposed

to love you. I can believe

you are God. I can believe

you are divine, miraculous.

I want to believe you love me no

matter what but that seems a luxury

tax I can ill afford. What if I am wrong

again? I wish 70 x 7 miracles were

enough. I wish oceans of grace were

enough. I wish…

Posted on February 4, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: