Blog Post 72: This is not what I meant to write at all…
It is late and well past the time when the electronics are supposed to be turned off, off, off. I didn’t get home till about 8, not just because I left work at 6 but I also made a stop at Ulta and then Whole Foods. And yes, I did cruise Whole Foods with my new cookbook—Appetite for Reduction by Isa Chandra Moskowitz—wide open in my cart. I opted for the garlicky mushrooms and kale, which were quite delicious and pretty easy to make. (Though I’m always so impatient about waiting for greens to cook down.)
I went off course with Weight Watchers a bit around my New York trip, but I have to say that I’m feeling pretty proud of myself for being on track this week despite a visit from Aunt Flo. It helps that I put myself in sugar lockdown to counteract the many many glasses of champagne I had while I was in NY. I haven’t been able to exercise in the mornings—just too tired from work and that time of the month (yes, I am trying to see how many euphemisms I can use for menstruation), but I have taken several long walks and that’s how I plan to exercise for the rest of the week. I was quite proud of myself for sticking to my exercise goals without being as rigid about “how” that exercise occurred. That has definitely been one of my downfalls before.
The other thing I noticed over the time I was off-track was that I didn’t ask myself when I was going to get back on track or set a hard deadline. I’m way too good at talking myself out of and around and right past deadlines. Instead I just told myself that I was going to get on track and that my ultimate goal to lose 50 more pounds was still very much in reach and I would get there when I got there. I can’t quite articulate why, but giving myself that permission to not have to hit a deadline allowed me to bypass the guilt and self-recrimination and instead actually “feel” that I just didn’t enjoy being off track and was craving the order I feel when I’m eating in a healthy manner and tracking my points and exercising. Actually taking a moment to sit with my body and hear it actually say out loud, “Blech, no more cake!” was a far better motivator than pummeling myself for being weak-willed. Who knew?
Since I seem to be updating you on all my healthful shenanigans, I might as well fill you in on Project Lemon. I’m averaging about 3/4 of one each day: one-half with some warm water in the morning and then at least another quarter in a glass of water later in the day. I have no idea if it’s doing anything or not. It is a profound shift for me to not have coffee be the first thing I drink in the a.m. and I still can’t quite believe that even when I’m up at 5, I can still hold off till 8:30 or 9 for my first cup. This has led to me implementing the decaf plan—that’s right, all decaf all the time. I’ve done it before, and once I get past the inevitable lack of caffeine headache, I’m usually fine. I love the taste of coffee and it does have strong feelings of comfort and security attached to it for me, but I’ve been drinking way too much. Nobody needs 2 or 3 cups a day even if the majority of those cups are unleaded. So, ultimately, Project Lemon is helping me put coffee in an appropriate place in my life. Which is not to say I won’t still sometimes crave the largest cup of coffee that Dunkin Donuts sells or want an espresso but I’m hoping I will stop spending quite so much moula on it.
Lastly, I thought starting tomorrow that I’d throw the blog open to you. What do you want to ask me? Do you have questions about my weight loss journey (this one or the previous two), about my writing life, about my work life, about my undying love for Christian Kane? Do you want to know why I still can’t pull the trigger on buying a record player or why buying a pair of high heel shoes is a near superhuman feat for me? Seriously, ask me, ask me. And I’ll answer the best I can. And try not to lie when I do. At least not a lot.
Good night my friends!