30 Days of Writing About My Body, Day 3
If you believe that everything happens for a reason, then I must believe that my struggles with my weight, or I suppose, more accurately, my struggles with my appearance happen for a reason. (And for the literalists out there, I mean more than how eating and exercise affect what I look like.) I was thinking today that I always default to the negative things that come from walking in this particular body. But I never think about any possible good that may have come my way because I’m short and plump. Is it possible that people are more likely to hear me as intelligent because I’m not a bombshell? Is it possible that I’ve formed the relationships that I have because I don’t look like a man-stealing femme fatale? Is it possible that because I never took my looks for granted that I was more likely to work harder toward getting what I wanted? Since I’ve never stopped to think about the positives associated with looking the way I do, I can’t even form the what-if questions without them sounding ridiculous to my ears. And I suppose it’s not really as neatly cause and effect as I’d like to make it, at least for purposes of this post. And I also think that no matter how I frame the question, there’s is no adequate answer. Still, it’s interesting to think about, and an opportunity to reframe how I look at my body. Yes, there are many challenges associated with being a woman of size, so to speak, but I think I’m going to choose to believe that there are also doors that open because of this particular body, whether or not I can precisely point out which ones they are.