10 Reasons to Be Fat

1. So your hands can’t reach all the way around when you try to hug me. So I can’t be trapped.

2. Cause nothing feels as good as cake tastes.

3. Everybody’s doing it.

4. Who doesn’t want invisibility as a superpower?

5. Who doesn’t want a permanent excuse from gym class (life)?

6. Sometimes despite your best intentions you grow up to be just like your mother in all the wrong ways.

7. Because I have neither the faintest idea what to do with a man (love) or to learn what to do with a man (love.)

8. Two words: portable fortress.

9. Four words: Scared not to be.

10. If you don’t love me like this, how will I know you really love me?