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Letter From My 48th Year (Mar 4)

I’m trying to have a year of Yes. Not exactly Shonda Rimes style, where, if I have the gist right, she said yes to everything people asked her to do. I actually do a little too much of that already and end up cancelling things because my introvert self gets overwhelmed. I am, instead, trying to have a year of saying Yes to things that frighten me a bit—like being on a post-show panel for Forum. Or writing some sort of foreword for a friend’s new play. Things that urge me into (and hopefully through) the discomfort of feeling, “Well, I’m just not smart enough to take on this role.” As I’ve shared several times, that particular lie I sometimes repeat to myself—that I’m not intelligent/clever/smart/good enough to whatever—is a leftover from the emotional abuse of my childhood that I’m still trying to undo. And the only way to undo it is to say Yes. There’s a chance that I’ll fail, of course. But if I’m not attempting things I might fail at, then the simple fact is I just won’t grow as a person. And that kind of stasis makes me even more uncomfortable than the discomfort of taking a risk. So, tell me, what are you saying Yes to this year?

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