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Things I Used to Be

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her best friend
her air quotes
her missed appointment
a woman with an inarticulate monster inside of her
a woman with a hole inside of her
a woman with nine tumors
a woman with a Zoloft prescription
fat
thin
blonde
“a surly brickhouse of a girl”
the tallest girl in my class
a far away sister
a girl who danced with monsters
a girl who couldn’t dance
the drunk girl at the bar making out with a guy while his friends laughed
the drunk girl going to the drive-through and waking up with a Big Mac wrapper in her bed
the drunk girl in the front row on house right
in love with him
a groupie for men who play the harmonica
a singer
an actor
a typist
a temp
a woman who didn’t buy flowers for herself
not 43
not employed
not writing
lazy
not ambitious
not smart
damned obzuky
Sweet Sue in “Sugar”
Sarah Brown in “Guys and Dolls”
a native and a Honeybun in “South Pacific”
someone who didn’t know about Marina Abramovic
someone who didn’t know about May Sarton
someone who didn’t know about Junot Diaz
a bad cook
a bad loser
someone who couldn’t bear it when plans fell through
someone who couldn’t bear it when the fat lady sang
someone who didn’t make lists

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