Blog Archives
Things I Can’t Do
I
…Take photos as well as Carrie Holbo.
Wind film around the reel in a darkroom
Drive a car
Stand in high heels
Wear a size 6
Remember all the words to my early poems
Remember all my passwords
Memorize “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”
Take back that missed chance I had to see Prince
Start over at the beginning
Forgive easily
Give up chocolate for ever
Like soy milk
Balance my checkbook
Tell you everything
Not think about him every once in a while
Remember the steps
Do the Dougie
Understand all the words when British singers sing in their own accents
Forget all the bad times
Remember all the good times
Count to ten in a language that’s not English, French, Spanish, or Italian
Tell Dija I’ll sing at her wedding
Tell Carolyn and Dave we can do something else
Tell Kevin I’ll go to the prom with him
Let Sedrick comb my hair
Forget Christophe’s birthday
Understand why you did that
Drink like I did when I was 25
Not draw that guy that map cause I’m drunk and so is he
Play the piano well
Make Julia Child’s boeuf bourguignon
Make my friendship with her work again
Stop rewinding to certain scenes in Fish Tank
Throw myself all the way open
Things I Used to Be
her best friend
her air quotes
her missed appointment
a woman with an inarticulate monster inside of her
a woman with a hole inside of her
a woman with nine tumors
a woman with a Zoloft prescription
fat
thin
blonde
“a surly brickhouse of a girl”
the tallest girl in my class
a far away sister
a girl who danced with monsters
a girl who couldn’t dance
the drunk girl at the bar making out with a guy while his friends laughed
the drunk girl going to the drive-through and waking up with a Big Mac wrapper in her bed
the drunk girl in the front row on house right
in love with him
a groupie for men who play the harmonica
a singer
an actor
a typist
a temp
a woman who didn’t buy flowers for herself
not 43
not employed
not writing
lazy
not ambitious
not smart
damned obzuky
Sweet Sue in “Sugar”
Sarah Brown in “Guys and Dolls”
a native and a Honeybun in “South Pacific”
someone who didn’t know about Marina Abramovic
someone who didn’t know about May Sarton
someone who didn’t know about Junot Diaz
a bad cook
a bad loser
someone who couldn’t bear it when plans fell through
someone who couldn’t bear it when the fat lady sang
someone who didn’t make lists
Paulette Beete, Writer 